nevermindthejoneseswScrolling through your Facebook and Instagram feeds you are bombarded with snippets into everyone else’s lives.  Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s kind of the point of social media BUT take everything you see with a grain of salt.  It’s so easy to look at that picture or status update that captures a snippet of your acquaintance’s life and think “Wow, they really have it together.  Look how clean their house is, look at that nice new car they bought, look at that house – how can they afford that and I can barely pay my bills on time? They are so carefree and happy – obviously not stressed out about money.”

Here’s the thing though; people post about 5% of their lives on social media and it’s always the BEST 5%.  Don’t compare your worst day to a hi-light reel of the best moments of someone else’s.  I admit even I’m guilty of this!  When I take a picture of something cute the kids are doing I make sure to crop any messes out of the picture or quickly toss the laundry out of the frame before I shoot the picture.  I don’t like to post pictures when the kids look disheveled or stained (a.k.a. when they look like kids)  Who doesn’t post a ton of pictures or status updates about a big vacation?  When I’m shopping for a birthday present I can’t buy the kid something that doesn’t seem like it cost much – I need the parents to KNOW I didn’t cheap out on the gift.  I don’t post a status update when my husband is driving me so insane I’m in the bed crying and fantasizing about all the ways I could kill him (not literally, don’t worry) but I sure as hell snapped a quick pic of the flowers he bought me and posted that right away.  The life we live on social media is often vastly different from our real lives.

That’s why we have to stop trying to keep up with the Jones’.  Maybe that huge house they are standing in front of with the sold sign has an insane mortgage and they have to eat beans and rice every day to afford it.  Maybe Mom and Dad fronted the down payment for it or the mortgage is in Mom and Dad’s names.  Maybe the amazing vacation is financed totally on credit cards and they are going to be paying it down for years.  Maybe they are struggling just as much as you.  If you take a look at your own social media would anyone know you are struggling?  Probably not.  Maybe someone is looking at your feed and thinking how together you’ve got it and they are so envious of your life.

Not caring how you line up with the rest of your friends list is one of the first and most important steps in fixing your financial mess.  It doesn’t fix any of the past mistakes but if you can stop buying to impress, it will absolutely help your future!